Foot In Mouth Disease

November 5, 2010

Living with Foot-in-mouth disease….

The Dreaded Foot In Mouth Disease

One of the most common embarrassments known to mankind is the act of saying something and then realizing you have quite firmly planted your foot in your mouth.  Imagine if you picked up your newspaper one day and read the following:

>>> NEWS FLASH!  Research scientists have announced they have found the causative agent for “Foot-in-Mouth Disease.”  New imaging techniques have brought to light a “Sudden Impulse” center in the brain.  It is believed this center is triggered by strong human emotions such as anger, embarrassment, excitement and others. 

However, researchers continue to be puzzled by the fact that sometimes the “Sudden Impulse” center engages for no discernible reason and exacerbates the feared “Foot-in-Mouth Disease.”  Words are spoken or typed before the victim can recall them, or edit them with better judgment. 

While elated to find the cause for “Foot-in-Mouth Disease,” researchers admit they have a long way to go before being able to find a cure. 

“It seems to be an integral part of the human condition,” stated one researcher who asked to remain anonymous.  “As long as you live, there are recurrent attacks of this dreaded disease, and there seems to be less chance of curing it than taming puberty.  At least you finally outgrow that dire condition, whereas “Foot-in-Mouth” is no respecter of age, gender, or any other characteristic of the human condition.”

It appears despite modern medical miracles “Foot-in-Mouth Disease” will be with us for quite some time yet.

— Your tongue-in-cheek reporter of the day.

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